DCToon John's Page
Since Neocons often like to refer to Abraham
Lincoln as one of the Republican Party's Founding Fathers, I thought,
suppose Bush had the linguistic ability of Honest Abe? What would
the Gettysburg Address sound like?
So, In honor of my nephew, MSGT Brian Reed, USMC (same age, 30, as my
older son, Peter) who has already served 2.5 tours in Iraq, I offer the
following:
THE IRAQIBURG
ADDRESS
Four FUBARs and seven fiascos ago, my forebrain brought forth upon
my temp-era-ment a new notion, confused and ob-fus-cated, and
predi-ca-ted on the post-u-lation that a rich, dumb, lazy, ex-drunk
goofball should be President. Now I have embroiled us in a great
religious civil war, demonstrating that my notion, and any notion so
confused and predi-cated, can smear the world. We are met on a great
slog-field of that war. We have had to attack it again and again
to eradicate a portion of it, and to make a final resting place for more
and more of those
who here keep giving their lives, that my notion might endure. It is
altogether fitting and proper that my battle armor, stenciled with my
name and presi-dential seal, is of the very highest quality, unlike
theirs.
But without common sense, I cannot eradicate - I cannot eliminate - I
cannot swallow - this pretzel-like country.
The brave men and women, living and dead, who obeyed me here,
have con-sum-mated my lust for oil and revenge, far above my
combat-dodging self's power to steal or kill.
The world will forever disdain,
and long dismember what I did here; but no one could have ever foreseen
what was going to happen here.
It is for us Neocons, therefore, to eradicate here the still-standing
buildings which they who fight here have thus far so feebly avoided. It
is rather for us Neocons to here e-lim-in-ate the great nation remaining
before us -- that from these blundered dead we may increase our wealthy
portion from those who here keep giving the last full measure of their
patrio-tism -- that we Neocons here highly resolve that this oil shall
not escape us -- that this nation, under Allah, shall suffer from a new
kind of torture -- and that government of the powerful, by the powerful,
for the powerful, shall be cherished for its wealth.
George "Dubya" Bushwhackin'
"Dishonest George"
Dubyaham Bushdumb
Copyright © 2008 by JMartinCook
| Home | Caricatures | If I Could Speak | Miscellaneous | The Pookahs | 2008 | Politics |
Copyright © 2008-2010 JMartinCook All Rights Reserved